


"All We Have To Decide...

by RosaClearwater



Series: Facetious Fusions [24]
Category: The Princess Diaries - All Media Types
Genre: But I promise there is happiness (especially at the end), F/M, Friends to Lovers, Will go a little before the movies and goes through said movies, hints of angst, pre-relationship to established relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-30
Updated: 2017-12-30
Packaged: 2019-02-23 23:42:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,724
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13201074
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RosaClearwater/pseuds/RosaClearwater
Summary: ... is what to do with the time that is given to us."_._It had taken her years to realize that she truly loved him. And, when it had happened, it was with a weary sigh that she had allowed that knowledge to sink back down into her heart.After all, a Queen would never be allowed to have any sort of dalliance with her Head of Security. And, with her beloved -- a word she never truly felt attachment to in this regard -- King, her feelings towards anyone else would simply be considered irrelevant.Besides, she was absolutely sure it was merely an unusually strong fondness that she felt. A fondness that she was also absolutely sure would settle into the platonic love commonly referred to as "friendship".So, she forces herself to develop a superficial contentment that will hopefully strengthen into the genuine emotion over time.... Emphasis on the word, "hopefully".





	"All We Have To Decide...

**Author's Note:**

> Which quotation gave way to this lovely little piece?
> 
> “I wish it need not have happened in my time.” said Frodo.
> 
> “So do I,” said Gandalf, “and so do all who live to see such times. But that is not for them to decide. All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to us.” -- LOTR
> 
> This starts in pre-moveis time and moves gently through bits and pieces of said movies (familiar quotations/scenes have been shamelessly picked for this). Enjoy! :)

It had taken her years to realize that she truly loved him. And, when it had happened, it was with a weary sigh that she had allowed that knowledge to sink back down into her heart.

  
After all, a Queen would never be allowed to have any sort of dalliance with her Head of Security. And, with her beloved -- a word she never truly felt attachment to in this regard -- King, her feelings towards anyone else would simply be considered irrelevant.

  
Besides, she was absolutely sure it was merely an unusually strong fondness that she felt. A fondness that she was also absolutely sure would settle into the platonic love commonly referred to as "friendship".

  
So, she forces herself to develop a superficial contentment that will hopefully strengthen into the genuine emotion over time.

  
... Emphasis on the word, "hopefully".

 

_._

 

Turns out time wouldn’t help her when it came to reducing her feelings.

 

It figures that time also wouldn't help with resolving the nature of said feelings.

 

But, she is still a ruler -- held up by the literal and figurative pedestals that have been set in place for centuries. And, even if King Rupert were not around, it would simply be impossible.

 

After all, she is a Queen _only_ by marriage. That alone makes her a target to overthrow for passionate traditionalists.

 

And, so, she decides to change tactics: if she can’t be rid of the feelings, she will simply work through them by arranging more meetings with her Head of Security.

 

She _is_ a target, after all.

 

_._

 

Time has been sweet to her, offering many more years of wonderful moments. Moments of camaraderie and platonic love, that is.

 

It's true: Clarisse has to still see all of those possibilities in a platonic light. As it all stands, she simply cannot allow herself to even mention the other potentials.

 

Even now, months after King Rupert’s passing.

 

Though, something faintly stirs within her.

 

Something, this time, seems to be changing.

 

_._

 

Amelia Thermopolis is simply not the person she had been expecting.

 

There was not a hint of royalty upon their first meeting and that criticism was Clarisse being... kind.

 

But, then came the… Well, then came what Clarisse can now only refer to as the “Wango” lesson. A moment in Amelia's lessons where Clarisse had not only began to catch a genuine hint of a future ruler, she was reminded that all rulers have to surrender their reign at some point. Or, at least, take a step back from the nearly impossible expectations and  _live_ for once.

 

_“You’ve been wearing black for too long.”_

 

The words snake themselves back into her mind at a moment's notice -- and it's almost vexing to be taunted in such a fashion, especially when she's trying to focus on work.

 

The problem is, Clarisse has been the Queen for such a long time that she has essentially forgotten how to let that part of her go.

 

Fortunately, the whisperings of that tantalizing music and the traces of warming promises that still trickle through her body are able to help.

 

_._

 

So much for growing confidence in Mia. With this beach scandal now wading into their lives, Clarisse must be far more regal and put together than ever in recent years.

 

“You’re saying that, as a _Queen_ , I was too harsh on her. I was critical of the person who _could_ become the next ruler of my country.

 

Fortunately, her Head of Security is willing to stand his ground and bring her back to a world where titles don’t truly matter.

 

“No. I’m saying that, as a grandmother, you might have been too harsh on your granddaughter.”

 

That breaks the steel. That reminds her that these circumstances weren’t ideal -- has any of this _ever_ been ideal? -- and that she has to remember where exactly everything stands.

 

But… She would need Joseph to help keep her balanced, to keep her perspective steady.

 

So, this time, she doesn’t assume.

 

She only asks.

 

“Do you think she can do it?”

 

The Queen has faltered in this instance. The woman -- the grandmother who only wants the best -- has to take over.

 

“Oh, I have no doubt.”

 

And, it's that same feeling that's crying out to be heard from within. She knows that, for all of possibilities and for all of the concerns, it is indeed the truth.

 

“... I thought so, too.”

 

_._

 

Mia, for all of her unorthodox quirks, truly is a smashing hit at the ball. So much so that the Clarisse allows herself to be gently guided out of the public’s eye by her dear, sweet Joseph.

 

Even as they hold hands and leave the obligations temporarily behind, she still cannot relinquish the control of her role as ruler.

 

_But,_ she can choose to afford to live a little.

 

_._

 

Now, she no longer wears black. Now, they frequently stroll through stunningly romantic landscapes -- such as the gardens.

 

But, even the gardens cannot take Clarisse from the mortifying news she's just received.

 

“She was in a _closet?”_

 

“With him.” He confessed. And though her brain is whirling away at how to handle this, his brain is probably considering the benefits of “accidentally” getting stuck in said closet with his current companion.

 

Nevertheless, now is not the time for Clarisse to be taken with such notions. Now, the Queen must face the facts once again.

 

“Does she have the makings of a Queen?”

 

“Well, she’s young, but I’ve always believed in her.” A familiar conversation repeats in her mind at this. She mentally swipes it away, forcing herself to focus solely on the present.

 

“Wedding invitations have been sent out.”

 

“Yes." That thought in itself was a wonderful reminder of why _he_ chose to walk through the gardens today.

 

And, somehow, seeing that Clarisse was still absolutely oblivious only made it even more wonderful.

 

“She and Andrew make a fine pair, I-I think she’s very set on it.” And, thank heavens for that: the circumstances are finally beginning to look up in certain regards.

 

Speaking of being on set…

 

“Clarisse, my dear,” He had chosen to use this endearment more freely as of late, relishing in the fact that he was now able to. “Forget the wedding for a moment.”

 

They finally came to a stop, a mixture of nerves (Joseph) and confusion (Clarisse) now buzzing through what had once been tranquil air.

 

Now they both realized he had created this time for a hopeful desire to be officially voiced.

 

“In less than a month, you will no longer be Queen and I will no longer be your Head of Security.” She nodded, still clueless as to where exactly this was heading. Frankly, he was relieved that she didn't seem to be overthinking and that she was -- for once -- content to let him take control of the conversation.

 

“I think it’s time we bring our friendship out of the shadows.”

 

_Oh. Oh, dear_.

 

“Oh, Joseph, I--”

 

As much as Clarisse felt a certain thrill at the idea, she also didn’t feel that the timing was quite right. Or that the circumstances were ideal -- considering this wedding would essentially be crashing into the timing of Mia's even if they were months afterwards. There were also so many preparations to make still for Mia's, so many aspects to organize. And, she still wasn’t quite sure that Mia was as polish as she needed to be -- or that Mia could actually step away from the irresponsible scandals that tend to follow in her step. Not only that, but there was the whole matter of making sure Parliament didn’t try to concoct any more schemes of wicked mischief right under her nose. Furthermore, this really was a critical time for Genovia as a country and also a time where she -- as the Queen -- would really need to maintain---

 

“I would kneel if it weren’t for my knee replacement.” She sat down with him on the stone bench, but her mind was still reeling in the skies.

 

Simply put, Clarisse just wasn't all that ready to relinquish decades of her life and finally let go of her life's responsibilities.

 

Perhaps after this drama has been sorted through. But, for now, well...

 

“Joseph, there’s a wedding to be planned. Mia needs to win over the people of Genovia, _all_ in less than thirty days.” Obligations to her country clearly constricted any emotions she might have about her own life, her own potential happiness. It was simply wasn’t the moment to be had, as much as she may have wished otherwise. For, it was indeed true that she sorely wished--

 

“Perhaps, it’s time to consider the duty you have to yourself.”

 

_... Huh?_

 

What a -- what a foreign concept that was to her.

 

There was always a duty to Genovia, always a wonderful obligation to her people and to her land.

 

But a duty to _herself_?

 

“Oh.” Somehow that one word managed to translate how discombobulated she felt. Somehow, she managed to convey the shock of having decades of deeply ingrained habits swept to the side in a few seconds with only one sound.

 

_Perhaps it’s time to consider the duty you have to yourself..._

 

“Clarisse, my darling, _please_ think about it. Please.”

 

But those exasperating habits of her had already returned. 

 

No matter how much she genuinely, desperately, wanted to consider his proposal.

 

“I will.”

 

It was a prim and bitterly sweet promise that she was making. A promise that held clear reinforcements of necessary obligations.

 

For her gaze -- one that had captivated his heart for many, many years -- was one he knew incredibly well.

 

It was also now one that hinted of melancholy and resignation.

 

_._

 

They danced around revisiting this particular subject for ages ever since that moment in the gardens.

 

And when he felt obliged to leave the room and retreat from her precious formalities, she could only exhaustedly sigh.

 

In the room, now dark and empty, she could still deny the validity behind his feelings and thoughts.

 

Even if there was a horrid ache in her heart, a knowing pang that--

 

“Well, it simply cannot happen. Not right now, at the very least." She paused, having caught another glimpse at that blasted sound device that was to blame for the current mess. "There is just far too much work that still needs to be done.”

 

It was a weak defense, spoken to an apathetic room.

 

_You should have said yes._

 

She angrily swatted the thought away, refusing to back down.

 

This was her decision, after all. Her choice.

 

Her burden to carry in the shape of a crown.

 

_._

 

It had only taken her days to truly realize that her decision had indeed been a horrible mistake. The loss of his welcoming presence gracing her every step, the coldness that overtaken her when she realized he was reducing their meetings to only mandatory moments, the indirect mocking that came from overlooking the wedding plans... She wish she could just take back her words and just give in to their happiness.

 

Still, it was undoubtedly far too late now to change anything.

 

And, the -- now bitter -- thought comes once again to mind:

 

There is indeed a wedding to still plan. 

 

It was just never meant to ever be _hers_.

 

_._

 

Well, this certainly hadn’t been the plan.

 

Seemed like all of those excuses of postponing her own happiness seemed rather silly by this point considering that Mia's wedding was now officially “off”.

 

Though, in all honesty, Clarisse would not trade any of it. All of this all had pushed Mia to new levels. Every moment of this forced the younger woman to show the world that she would indeed be fit to rule as Queen. 

 

And _that_ was worth the heartache Clarisse had been -- and would be -- suffering through. That alone was worth the loss and the sacrifices and the mistakes of a foolish Queen. A Queen who was so very happy for the future of her divine country, a ruler who felt comfortable finally letting go. 

 

And, still, a woman who still couldn't help but feel a tinge of regret that--

 

“Your Majesty,”

 

The words reach out to her but she almost misses them. Fortunately, decades ruling as a Queen help to pull her out of her reverie whenever it seems necessary.

 

“Hmm?” Admittedly, she could have responded a tad more gracefully to Charlotte than _that_. 

 

“The Princess would like a word.”

 

“Oh, erm.” That remark also could have been done without the poor imitation of a codfish. But the unusual awkwardness is swept aside, the earpiece is pulled over somewhat easily and now it's time to recollect herself for Mia needs her for something.

 

The Queen still has a duty, after all.

 

_“Grandma,”_ The tinny whisper hesitantly called out. A title that touched Clarisse far more than her crowning ever could.

 

And a title that brings her attention fully to the moment at hand.

 

_“Just because I didn’t get my fairytale ending doesn’t mean you shouldn’t.”_

 

The codfish imitation comes back as a whirling realization spins into Clarisse. In only a few moments, she experiences a twirling reel of emotions -- confusion, realization, longing, _hope_.

 

The loving thoughts come back with ease. And, this time, they do not contain a hint of mockery or shame:

 

_Perhaps, it’s time to consider the duty you have to yourself..._

 

She can only now turn to one of her oldest subord--one of her oldest _friends_ to double-check the current reality:

 

“Did you hear that?” Charlotte straightens only after a mere second, remarkably far more put together than Clarisse can be in this moment.

 

“Not if you didn’t want me to.” That sends the older woman into a small, dainty set of giggles. And she says something polite and charming in response -- she is still Queen, after all -- but she can’t quite remember what exactly she said because she’s now approaching her dearest friend in the hopes that all will be well. 

 

Now, she is barely able to contain herself at this as a intensifying mixture of hope and excitement stir within her. She can hardly gather her bearings and attempt to fix her only real regret.

 

“Joseph,” She says with a faint smile, trying not to give everything away, hoping he will still take her after all of her foolishness.

 

“Your Majesty,” He still won’t properly meet her eyes at first. But, when he does, he sees something in her that holds his -- now tentative -- curiosity.

 

“Dear Joseph,” She still can’t quite get the words out, but she also cannot go back to the way things were.

 

_Though... he could still say no. Even after everything, he could always be--_

_Shut. Up._

 

And Joseph now can’t help but stare into her eyes because something has changed -- potentially, for the better. Now it is his turn to be absolutely confused and her turn to be simultaneously calm and nervous.

 

The giddy smile comes back for a moment before settling into a significant look -- one that contains love of a genuine variety that is delicately wrapped in a serious and _hopeful_ trust.

 

“Am I too late to ask you to accept my hand in marriage?”

 

His eyebrows raised in shock at this, clearly dumbfounded. It's clearly his turn to imitate a codfish -- in his own style, of course.

 

But, unlike Clarisse, Joseph has never truly hesitated when it comes to deciding what to do with the precious time that is given to him.

 

He also can, far more easily than his darling, let go.

 

And, so, he does.

 

“Well, I thought you’d never ask.”

 

As they arrange themselves to walk down the aisle together, she can hardly think. Graceful words come out to reassure the crowds, shaped by years of habit, but for the life of her she is unable to formulate any recollection of what was spoken. She can only feel a exhilaratingly sweeping pleasure and a desire to finally go with the flow.

 

Which leads her to utter words she thought she would never be given the chance to speak.

 

“My Lord Archbishop, I would like to take this man as my husband, if you please.”

 

The Archbishop looked towards heaven for a moment, as though whispering a blessed “Thank you” to the skies before responding quite appropriately:

 

_“Finally.”_

**Author's Note:**

> Och, I love these movies and this pairing so much! And I love scattering references to other favorite films/shows :D
> 
> Personal update -- I’m stepping out of my home country for a few months come this Tuesday. So, while I am intent on keeping this series going it may be more of a “every couple of weeks” kind of updating speed.
> 
> Also, I’m going to try to keep bringing in new fandoms, but it’ll probably be a combo of old and new fandoms. So, don’t be surprised if a favorite of yours makes another appearance ;) And, feel free to request a previously mentioned fandom!
> 
> Now, finally, Happy (almost) New Year! May 2018 be a kind and prospering year for all :)
> 
> Our next Quotation: 
> 
> “A common mistake that people make when trying to design something completely foolproof is to underestimate the ingenuity of complete fools.” -- Mostly Harmless, Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy
> 
> Our choices:  
> Monk  
> Death in Paradise


End file.
